A good day followed by a necessary rest day. A full heart, followed by a racing one. This is what balance looks like when your body sets the pace, and why I’m learning not to wish it away.

This is one of those life seasons that refuses to settle. As I look outward, Alberta has given us a strange in-between this year, too. Winter has never fully committed; we've had warm days that felt like promises, then snow returning just as the crocuses pushed through. Spring keeps arriving and retreating. I recognize that rhythm now. It also lives within my body.

My occupational therapist said something I wasn't prepared for: "You need to meet your body where it's at, not compare it to your past." I had given those same words to my own students countless times. Somehow I had never applied them to myself. That's the thing about the lessons we most need, they have a way of finding us when we're finally ready to hear them.

Nobody tells you that you can mourn a life you're still living. This is an honest look at the grief that lives inside chronic illness, and why feeling it fully is the first step toward carrying it gracefully.

Living with chronic illness has reshaped how I experience my body, my energy, and my life. Through this blog, I share the struggles, lessons and insights that help me, and may help you, navigate uncertainty, find balance, and reclaim a sense of possibility even when health feels fragile.